Inflatable Doll

Graduation thesis, Hogeschool van de Kunsten Utrecht

Contains flashing lights

In ‘Inflatable doll’ I dive back into the personal body horror of growing up. It’s a story about throwing yourself in a pile of users and abusers, experiencing terrifying insecurities and dissociation yourself from your own body in such extreme ways it becomes severed from yourself. In these moments of divine horror and extreme ecstasy my body grew into multiple monstrous forms I couldn’t recognize as my own anymore. Using the 3D scans of classical statues, I morph and match these figures and shapes into warped representations of budding sexuality and masculinity, and turn my coming-of-age into mythical beings. I invite you all to meet these demonic beings.

The models, the environments and the soundscapes are explicitly made with existing materials either online or offline. Materials such as songs I used to listen to as a teenager, torn-off posters on the streets and photoscanned rocks. The result is a remixed reality of dark times; a tragedy built out of digital debris.